Blessed

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I really feel blessed. When I look back and reflect on the past few days, my heart swells with gratitude at the experience to be acquainted with God anew. I feel immense joy and peace just being in church, in God's sanctuary, quietly learning, patiently serving, genuinely conversing. Being able to be beside Calvin through it all makes it perfect.

Thursday to Saturday was my very first church conference: "Knowing God's Will". Truth be told, this is an area I absolutely struggle with. There are times I find myself wondering and guessing at God's Will, unsure of where and how to proceed. One of my biggest learnings, was being reminded of the redemptive power of pain and suffering. Pain is a gift from God... it tells you something has gone wrong.

We are living in a world that's aching with pain, a world that is absolutely groaning, suffering and churning with evil. So many people seem oblivious to the warning signs and alarm bells that the world is throwing at us, in our faces, as though nothing is wrong. But everything is.

When talking to K and our conversation drifted to recent news, of men who were being charged in court for a crime they had committed, I instinctively said "They can't help it." I realised then how much I have changed in my journey of faith as a Christian. I used to feel incredulous at the thought that we were sinners, never realising that the biggest sin of all -- pride was blocking my understanding and comprehension, and veiling my eyes from the truth of my...our... everyone's glaring imperfections. We may not murder or plunder, but all of us are incapable of living sinlessly without God in our lives.

I loved how Pst Ed shared with us that The Ten Commandments should really be seen as the Ten Promises of God... that it is only when we come to know God, that we are free from being slaves to sin, and now have the choice to choose differently. We no longer need to kill, we no longer need to lust, we no longer need to steal, because we have God in our lives. Without Him, in all aspects of stumbling folly, I see how true it is that we can't help it.


God's will is totally sovereign
gloriously redemptive
sometimes puzzling
but always perfect

On Sunday Calvin and I were really blessed by Pst Tony who took time out to encourage us in our ministry, and who took the opportunity to get to know us when we asked him to sign our copy of his book. It shocked me when he said "Thank you, you have really blessed my heart today." and his face shone with so much joy at our conversation. I was surprised at his humility, surprised that he remembered us. "Do me a favour, email me your story this week," He said.

Wow. I am grateful everyday for the freedom I have found in Christ, for the soul-renewing peace that he has restored to my life. It need not be shaken by trying circumstances, because pain is a fact of this fallen world. And as Pst Tony said: I may not know the reason or the cause, but I always know the cure for pain.