The Eagles workshop yesterday was an enriching session and sparked in me thoughts about bringing God into my workplace.
How true... that most of us separate God (religion/spirituality) and work, seeing it as two separate spheres altogether, when in fact, we shouldn't just be Christians on Sunday, but Christians everyday... even Monday to Friday, where we are at work, and spending most of our waking hours at the workplace. Rather than contemplating thoughts about this being the "wrong job" for us, there exists an alternative to discern God's purpose for us at our workplace. We have to trust that we are placed at the right place and right time, and that there are no mistakes... it is simply, about seeking the opportunities and perspective to bring about rightness, to reveal God's presence where we are.
It reminds me of the miracle at my workplace, when M connected me with fellow Christians here, and remarkably, two of them were from the same church I am, and one of them I had even met only a few days earlier in church, just had failed to be aware that she was also my co-worker! The lunch fellowship when we met together to share our faith, our stories, our experiences was an amazing session that moved me deeply. To be able to pray together, holding in ourselves the vision for our colleagues to see Christ through us, and that we might be able to bring more believers to Christ, was a powerful one, reminding me who my real boss was. I work not for earthly beings, but for God, and the daily mundane tasks that we face are not the be-all and end-all of life, instead, our gaze should be directed to the eternal, to the unseen... to the relationships and influence that we can nurture at our workplace. That is our purpose at work, and there is a desperate need for there to be more believers in the marketplace, for us to stand up and be different, to inspire and sow seeds of change for our heavenly father.
At the workshop, we also talked about the criteria that matters to us in a job... the non-negotiables and the negotiables. What are mine?
~ A mission that I believe in and am passionate about
~ A place where I can make my interest my work
~ Work-life balance
~ Opportunities to learn and develop
~ Opportunities to make a difference to others
~ A good boss
~ A nurturing environment with colleagues as my friends
~ Teamwork
~ Salary
And now, a new criteria that I did not know I have - "workplace ministry". Looking at my list, I feel gratitude for the job I have now, and questions, doubts about whether this is the right job for me, are at least answered and eased. If I ever wonder whether God cares about me... I need only to think of the fact that God had arranged for my immediate colleague in my division to be my churchmate, and be deeply heartened. And to discover now that there are more co-workers from the same church, aligned to the same purpose... What are the odds? Is that not a miracle in itself?
Friday, January 27, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Dreams
Dreams are dangerous.
They entice you to imagine worlds of possibilities, to soar in your imagination to paint visions of grandeur. Untested by reality, they are bold, freeing, and invigorating. Once engraved in the recesses of our hearts however, once met with resolve and action to unfold the dreams under the cold, harsh glare of daylight, they hold the potential to burst. The hurt, disappointment, challenges and pain that come with the bursting are all part and parcel of the dreams package -- a double-edged knife, one side glinting with sly promises and the lure of success, the other the lethal blade of death.
I haven't been dreaming for a while. And to have the dream of Expedition Agape suddenly take root again in my heart was a surprise. Especially to have it grow with such vigour, insidiously creeping into my waking thoughts with questions of how, how, how? It is always easy to address questions of what and why. The right motivations, the right people to reach out to and involve, but questions of how are difficult. To be not just efficient but also effective, calls for more meticulousness, analysis and deep thinking than I might possibly possess.
The scary thing is... I love this. I truly embrace this whole-heartedly with passion, desire and excitement, my entire soul bouncing up and down with inspiration and ideas firing second after second. This is why God creates. Being an artist to design and shape just about gets you into the psyche of God to unlock the possible reasons why he creates. It is spectacular -- a glorious, nurturing act of birthing which engages every fiber of your being. It is beautiful.
When I am in this mode, it seems as though the challenges that had assailed me not too long ago organising and undergoing the Expeditions are far behind... detached and distant, too far away that they almost seem to belong to another world. Maybe that too is scary, because this shouldn't be how it is. Challenges should be at the forefront, ringing the bell of pragmatism and reality, tolling the imminent arrival of obstacles and death, if that is what must be. Unfortunately... we forget. I forget. I get too caught up in the whirlwind of dreaming, that I am lost to my imagination, and focusing on possibilities.
This is really something that could potentially grow. Terrifying, perhaps, but also exhilarating.
They entice you to imagine worlds of possibilities, to soar in your imagination to paint visions of grandeur. Untested by reality, they are bold, freeing, and invigorating. Once engraved in the recesses of our hearts however, once met with resolve and action to unfold the dreams under the cold, harsh glare of daylight, they hold the potential to burst. The hurt, disappointment, challenges and pain that come with the bursting are all part and parcel of the dreams package -- a double-edged knife, one side glinting with sly promises and the lure of success, the other the lethal blade of death.
I haven't been dreaming for a while. And to have the dream of Expedition Agape suddenly take root again in my heart was a surprise. Especially to have it grow with such vigour, insidiously creeping into my waking thoughts with questions of how, how, how? It is always easy to address questions of what and why. The right motivations, the right people to reach out to and involve, but questions of how are difficult. To be not just efficient but also effective, calls for more meticulousness, analysis and deep thinking than I might possibly possess.
The scary thing is... I love this. I truly embrace this whole-heartedly with passion, desire and excitement, my entire soul bouncing up and down with inspiration and ideas firing second after second. This is why God creates. Being an artist to design and shape just about gets you into the psyche of God to unlock the possible reasons why he creates. It is spectacular -- a glorious, nurturing act of birthing which engages every fiber of your being. It is beautiful.
When I am in this mode, it seems as though the challenges that had assailed me not too long ago organising and undergoing the Expeditions are far behind... detached and distant, too far away that they almost seem to belong to another world. Maybe that too is scary, because this shouldn't be how it is. Challenges should be at the forefront, ringing the bell of pragmatism and reality, tolling the imminent arrival of obstacles and death, if that is what must be. Unfortunately... we forget. I forget. I get too caught up in the whirlwind of dreaming, that I am lost to my imagination, and focusing on possibilities.
This is really something that could potentially grow. Terrifying, perhaps, but also exhilarating.
Trust and Surrender...
Tonight was the first CG of the year, and I know we are off to a good start. It was moving, open and honest... and frankly, emotional for me, as I felt the intertwining of experiences, the foundation of trust opening hearts to share and learn.
Also, what made it special was we had 2 guests who joined us. Lisa, coincidentally was the niece of the couple whose story Pst Tony had shared during service. God makes provisions for those who are broken and seeking, and hers is a story of hope in a path fraught with uncertainties, unsure about her job, the state of her marriage, or even, her residential address in a few months' time. Heleona, though meeting most of us for the first time, had the courage to pour out the story of her deceased mother, how she battled cancer, how she was initially an unbeliever, then turned to God as her last days drew near.
I was moved by the life stories of two very disparate yet similar individuals, and feel grateful for the privilege to have been blessed by their sharing. The session was especially meaningful as we took turns to talk about what the year ahead holds for us. For me, there were many things upon my heart, but the two things that I shared were the prayer and hope that my father will come to know God... and the second, my excitement at taking up courses at Singapore Bible College...
I trust in God for the right timing, and Father, I pray in the mighty name of Jesus, that you will have your protection over all my brothers and sisters, especially Brother Eric as his mother is going through a particularly challenging time right now. Amen.
Also, what made it special was we had 2 guests who joined us. Lisa, coincidentally was the niece of the couple whose story Pst Tony had shared during service. God makes provisions for those who are broken and seeking, and hers is a story of hope in a path fraught with uncertainties, unsure about her job, the state of her marriage, or even, her residential address in a few months' time. Heleona, though meeting most of us for the first time, had the courage to pour out the story of her deceased mother, how she battled cancer, how she was initially an unbeliever, then turned to God as her last days drew near.
I was moved by the life stories of two very disparate yet similar individuals, and feel grateful for the privilege to have been blessed by their sharing. The session was especially meaningful as we took turns to talk about what the year ahead holds for us. For me, there were many things upon my heart, but the two things that I shared were the prayer and hope that my father will come to know God... and the second, my excitement at taking up courses at Singapore Bible College...
I trust in God for the right timing, and Father, I pray in the mighty name of Jesus, that you will have your protection over all my brothers and sisters, especially Brother Eric as his mother is going through a particularly challenging time right now. Amen.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
First day of 2012...
The first day of the new year… always a great reason to feel reflective, musing about the year gone by, and definitely a wonderful reason to get started on writing again, with a old-new blog. Old, because this blog was set up several years ago, and I just never got around to posting anything... new, evidently because this is the first post. Writing trains the mind, clarifies thoughts, was what Pst Kay Kiong shared earlier today as well, reminding me that really, it's a habit I ought to resume.
My mind has been in overdrive the last two days, incessantly reviewing the 2011 that has passed. One year -- that's significant, that's huge. And reading one of my blog posts that I wrote in January 2011, I am reminded of the utter aimlessness I felt then, at the start of the year, because that is the exact same feeling that plagues me now. It is as if I need to justify to myself that I have lived well, that my time has been well-spent (not just squandered over endless TV series that I keep getting glued to...) and thinking over the past one year helps me do that.
By all accounts, 2011 has been a tremendous year for me... a tremendously fulfilling and incredible year that has been more than I ever could have imagined or asked for. The me that I was in January 2011 would not have been able to guess, even in my wildest dreams, for instance, that I would have become a Christian by the time the year was out. Skeptical me... who had never, ever trusted the church, which was such an artificial institution of Man and totally imperfect representation of God. I guess the Lord works in strange ways, and the lesson for me, really, is that of surrender... that a sense of aimlessness, of loss, of confusion, is normal and acceptable. That it is not something I should resist against or chide myself for, but rather, channel it towards anticipation... hopeful expectancy of the surprising blessings that could come about in my year, sometimes derailing, or, reprioritising over, even the best-laid plans.
So, celebrating my 2011, in brief:
- Accepting God as my Lord and Saviour has changed my life. I have been deeply, deeply touched by His love, for He is love, and He has started to heal all the broken parts of my soul. God is also a god that stands up to investigation, scrutiny and challenge... and my intellectual exploration of Christianity as I pored over books after books has been a stimulus that I have craved, and also, provided me all the answers to all the questions in my heart and mind... even to some questions I never thought to ask. I wish I had started on this earlier, and not been egotistically blind to the truth. Ask, and we will receive... Knock, and He will answer... how true! Jesus is my captain, and I live by his overflowing example of love, grace and mercy.
- Covenant Evangelical Free Church... there couldn't have been a more perfect, or more right church for Calvin and I. Settling in a church is almost like finding your soulmate -- it operates on the same principles at least, that there is no perfect partner, only the partner that is perfect for you. That is exactly how I feel about Covenant... it is a community of authentic, committed Christians, irrefutably bible-centred and God-focused, and with values that resonate with us. There will never be a perfect church... the only time that there will be, is in the future when Jesus returns again as King. Until then, there are only imperfect churches with imperfect men striving to do the best they can in this fallen world. And being in Covenant has just about been the single most transformative highlight of 2011... my deepened knowledge of the Bible, God's will and God, the CG that Calvin and I have been so blessed to have settled in, the newfound friends, love, care and nurturing we have received in abundance, the many opportunities and experiences for growth, learning and serving, especially now being in the Children's Ministry.... God has worked wonders not just externally, but within me as well, giving me a new heart of peace, passion and purpose.
- Service Wrapped up EA 2010, and the pang of loss was immediate, unsure of where to go from there. Also achingly and painfully made the decision to leave CV, because there was just too much misalignment... I love the programme, love the energy and the heart of the volunteers to make a difference, but the lack of leadership, structure, focus and a values-centred approach to sustain the impact and results, frustrates me. It didn't occur to me then that my plate will be full with BP, CCF or with the additional wish granting opportunities in MAW... most of all, with all the opportunities to serve and lead the volunteer programme at my workplace, to deposit love and care into the hearts of the children at Beyond. There has been barely any let-up at all in pace and intensity... there is just too much to do, so many community needs to meet and address, that it deeply matters to me the small little role that I play to make a difference.
- Personal Development I've learnt so much over the past year that it is impossible to fully sum up into words. I've learnt that it is sometimes important to let go in order to move forward, that ideas alone are not enough...idealism needs to be tempered with reality and a sound ability to implement and execute, and perhaps most, most, most resoundingly, I have learnt about relationships. God has been imparting to me again and again over the past year in 2011 the delicacies of communication and the art of building relationships... sometimes knocking the lesson into my head with devastatingly painful falls. To varying degrees, I have had to step out of my comfort zone, sweat buckets, and take risks. While I am not sure I will be eager to repeat or go through any of the experiences, especially the more nasty ones again, I have learnt from picking myself up and I cherish the learnings.
- Travel China, Bali, Taiwan and Australia. The wonderful memories are forever etched in my mind. I have been blessed to have been able to travel to new places, amazing places in 2011, and Australia in particular, with the CYF8, is a life-changing highlight that I will always remember. Looking back at the start of the year, I never thought that I would be involved in CYF again, but being in CYF has been precious... not just for the many international friendships forged, but also, it has called upon me to be more confident, more self-assured than I have ever been, and to take on leadership and facilitator roles. I have also fallen in love with Taiwan. If there is a place that I want to retire to, other than Singapore -- a place with the perfect blend of beauty in place and beauty in people, it is Taiwan. Can't wait to go back again.
- Personal Development I've learnt so much over the past year that it is impossible to fully sum up into words. I've learnt that it is sometimes important to let go in order to move forward, that ideas alone are not enough...idealism needs to be tempered with reality and a sound ability to implement and execute, and perhaps most, most, most resoundingly, I have learnt about relationships. God has been imparting to me again and again over the past year in 2011 the delicacies of communication and the art of building relationships... sometimes knocking the lesson into my head with devastatingly painful falls. To varying degrees, I have had to step out of my comfort zone, sweat buckets, and take risks. While I am not sure I will be eager to repeat or go through any of the experiences, especially the more nasty ones again, I have learnt from picking myself up and I cherish the learnings.
- Travel China, Bali, Taiwan and Australia. The wonderful memories are forever etched in my mind. I have been blessed to have been able to travel to new places, amazing places in 2011, and Australia in particular, with the CYF8, is a life-changing highlight that I will always remember. Looking back at the start of the year, I never thought that I would be involved in CYF again, but being in CYF has been precious... not just for the many international friendships forged, but also, it has called upon me to be more confident, more self-assured than I have ever been, and to take on leadership and facilitator roles. I have also fallen in love with Taiwan. If there is a place that I want to retire to, other than Singapore -- a place with the perfect blend of beauty in place and beauty in people, it is Taiwan. Can't wait to go back again.
- Friends Made countless new friends in 2011, from Church, from CYF8, from BP, from Taiwan, etc. etc... I celebrate all the new friendships made. It has been incredible, and more so also because 2011 has been a year that I reconnected with some old friends that I have lost touch with.
- Family And last but not least, the most important of all, my family, my anchor and cornerstone, amidst everything, family has been a key priority. Investing in my marriage, strengthening and spending time with each and every single one of my family members, and cherishing all the precious, precious time that we spend together. The significant surprise of the year -- maybe even the decade, is that I reconnected with my mother again, after a span of 9 months. 9 months of hatred, of silence, of resentment from her and she has finally reached out to me. I am not sure fully that it is a blessing... it is the sort of thing that I am thankful for, because at least now, she is in my life, and I am in hers, but the relationship is too volatile for me to expect smooth winds ahead.
Looking forward to 2012...
Steady Readers, New Life, The Writer's Place, SBC, church camp, BP @ Gracehaven, EA 2012, the numerous overseas trips already planned and scheduled. I have the fullest anticipation for what lies ahead... exciting adventures and challenges, more beautiful memories to seize and create, fulfillment and restoration in my relationships.
And yet... a part of me still feels lost... I know the endgame of my life, but what is the endpoint of this year?
Father Lord, with thanksgiving and praise, my heart swells with the deepest gratitude for your protection and blessing in 2011. As Calvin and I start the new year, I pray that the coming year will continue to bring more delightful surprises, blessings and fulfillment for both of us, guided by your direction and will. In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray and commit ourselves to you. Amen.
Steady Readers, New Life, The Writer's Place, SBC, church camp, BP @ Gracehaven, EA 2012, the numerous overseas trips already planned and scheduled. I have the fullest anticipation for what lies ahead... exciting adventures and challenges, more beautiful memories to seize and create, fulfillment and restoration in my relationships.
And yet... a part of me still feels lost... I know the endgame of my life, but what is the endpoint of this year?
Father Lord, with thanksgiving and praise, my heart swells with the deepest gratitude for your protection and blessing in 2011. As Calvin and I start the new year, I pray that the coming year will continue to bring more delightful surprises, blessings and fulfillment for both of us, guided by your direction and will. In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray and commit ourselves to you. Amen.
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