Dreams

Dreams are dangerous.

They entice you to imagine worlds of possibilities, to soar in your imagination to paint visions of grandeur. Untested by reality, they are bold, freeing, and invigorating. Once engraved in the recesses of our hearts however, once met with resolve and action to unfold the dreams under the cold, harsh glare of daylight, they hold the potential to burst. The hurt, disappointment, challenges and pain that come with the bursting are all part and parcel of the dreams package -- a double-edged knife, one side glinting with sly promises and the lure of success, the other the lethal blade of death.

I haven't been dreaming for a while. And to have the dream of Expedition Agape suddenly take root again in my heart was a surprise. Especially to have it grow with such vigour, insidiously creeping into my waking thoughts with questions of how, how, how? It is always easy to address questions of what and why. The right motivations, the right people to reach out to and involve, but questions of how are difficult. To be not just efficient but also effective, calls for more meticulousness, analysis and deep thinking than I might possibly possess.

The scary thing is... I love this. I truly embrace this whole-heartedly with passion, desire and excitement, my entire soul bouncing up and down with inspiration and ideas firing second after second. This is why God creates. Being an artist to design and shape just about gets you into the psyche of God to unlock the possible reasons why he creates. It is spectacular -- a glorious, nurturing act of birthing which engages every fiber of your being. It is beautiful.

When I am in this mode, it seems as though the challenges that had assailed me not too long ago organising and undergoing the Expeditions are far behind... detached and distant, too far away that they almost seem to belong to another world. Maybe that too is scary, because this shouldn't be how it is. Challenges should be at the forefront, ringing the bell of pragmatism and reality, tolling the imminent arrival of obstacles and death, if that is  what must be. Unfortunately... we forget. I forget. I get too caught up in the whirlwind of dreaming, that I am lost to my imagination, and focusing on possibilities.

This is really something that could potentially grow. Terrifying, perhaps, but also exhilarating.